Hi Linda,

I used to run a free program that sent Catechisms to seeking Protestants and non-Christians but I no longer have the financial or operational means to do this anymore. Nevertheless, if you wish to go deeper, consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics.

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In your initial private e-mail, I was a little concerned about the approach your boyfriend was taking.

My concern is that you are becoming a Catholic for your boyfriend's sake instead of as a free act of embracing the Catholic faith yourself. The Church insists that no one should have to be coerced into joining any faith they:

• have no desire to join, or
• don't fully understand and fully accept.

This is why we have  RCIA  in the Catholic Church.

I'll be sending you the Catechism soon!

Mike

Hi, Mike —

In a mixed marriage, the non-Catholic spouse no longer has to make a commitment to raise the children as Catholics, but does have to be made aware, in marriage preparation, that the Catholic spouse has this duty.

From Linda's letter, it sounds like her boyfriend is only willing to marry a Catholic, and he is within his rights to say that.

At the same time, he must not ask her to profess the Catholic faith if she does not believe it to be true.

— RC

Hi, Linda.

Freedom of conscience is at the heart of everyone's relation to God, and the Catholic Church teaches that it must always be respected. The human person must be free to pursue the truth, and no one may force another to convert to any faith. Any conversion made for any reason other than conviction is an offense to God, who wants us to know Him in truth and love, not in order to please others.

I would suggest you simply study the faith with an open mind — so that you can understand your fiancé's faith and be able to help raise the children Catholic. You will have to promise not to interfere with that, if you marry him. You may find that God is using this situation to draw you closer to Him and deeper into the truth.

As you read the Catechism, old prejudices and misunderstandings will fall away and you will at least understand what Catholics believe, and see the Scriptural evidence for it. Perhaps you will be convicted of the truth of the faith, and want to become Catholic. At the very least, you will gain an understanding of what the Church believes.

As for your boyfriend, he needs to respect your conscience and to know that your converting to Catholicism is not a requirement of the Church. It is always better, however, when the spouses share the faith. There are great tensions and difficulties in a mixed marriage, especially once the children come along.

Good luck,

Mary Ann