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I am a teenager who struggles with lust occasionally. I have committed sins of lust in private before; my parents do not know. I also struggle with scrupulosity often (if you need evidence, just read my highly technical questions!).
The Catechism says in paragraph 1452 that in order for perfect contrition to obtain the forgiveness of mortal sins, one must have a firm resolution to go to Confession "as soon as possible".
Contrition
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1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called perfect (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental Confession as soon as possible. (cf. Council of Trent (1551): DS 1677)
Is it possible to have a mortal sin forgiven if you have a firm resolution to go to Confession at a time that is technically not the actual soonest time?
For example, if one commits a mortal sin on Monday, and the next available scheduled Confession time out of all reasonably near churches is at 5:45 - 6:45 AM the next day (Tuesday) while the next Confession time at a different church is at 9:00 AM that same day, would he have to have a firm resolution to go to Confession at the first church on Tuesday in order to have perfect contrition that forgives your mortal sins on Monday?
Or, could he resolve to instead go at 9:00 AM on Tuesday and still have his mortal sins forgiven through perfect contrition on Monday?
Obviously, the soonest possible time for Confession would be at 5:45 AM. Here's why I am asking this:
A few days ago, I fell out of my state of grace because I gave in to lust. I asked my mother when I could go to Confession this week, and it turned out that the most convenient time would be in a few days. Now, it's technically possible for me to go to Confession sooner, since there is a church nearby that offers Confession at 5:45 - 6:45 every day except Saturday and Sunday. Because of my driver's license, it is possible for me to drive there in the morning before school. However, doing so would mean having to explain to my mother why I am driving to church at such an inconvenient time in the morning on a school day, which may possibly cause her to ask me if I have committed a mortal sin, which is a question that I would be obligated to answer truthfully (8th Commandment). I do not want to inform my parents about the shameful deeds I have committed, if possible. I am wondering if I can still have my mortal sins forgiven through perfect contrition if I firmly resolve to go in a few days rather than at 5:30 AM in the morning tomorrow.
Also, I have two more questions:
Is it possible to have a valid reason to postpone Confession by a reasonable time without committing the sin of presumption; and is not wishing to tell your parents about your mortal sins a valid reason to postpone Confession by a reasonable time (especially if you have achieved a state of grace through perfect contrition)?
Note: I managed to make it to Confession before sending this. However I would still like my questions answered.
I have one more question that I will have to explain the context of. Every night, I pray the Fifteen prayers of St. Bridget, which were reportedly revealed to St. Bridget by Jesus. The prayers come with fifteen promises for those who pray these prayers every day for a year.
The 14th promise is that the one who prays will be protected from a sudden death and the 15th is that the one who prays these will be saved. It also promises signs that will indicate when one's death is coming soon.
If I am in a state of mortal sin, having seen none of the signs of impending death, and trusting that the 14th and 15th promises are from God (who never lies or breaks promises), am I committing the sin of presumption by trusting that God will preserve me until the next time I am able to go to Confession?
Alan
{ Is it possible to have mortal sin forgiven if you have a firm resolution to go to Confession at a time that isn't the actual soonest? }
Bob replied:
Dear Alan,
You have a problem in over thinking everything (part of the scrupulosity effect). The easiest way to avoid the sin of presumption is to switch your focus to the mercy of God. Just stick with the Divine Mercy motto:
"Jesus, I trust in you."
When you realize that you control very little and you must rely on the mercy of God for everything, you will get the focus off yourself and onto Christ. You focus too much on yourself.
Rely totally on Christ, do your devotions, get to Confession when you fail, and leave the rest to Christ. Trust in Him and realize how you can do nothing without Him. When Peter sank in the water he cried out to our Lord, who pulled him up. This is our reality; we can't get ourselves out of the messes we create, we must cry out to Him. It is very difficult for someone with scrupulosity to bring peace to their conscience unless they make this switch in focus.
My prescription for this struggle is to say the above prayer many times a day, especially when these thoughts invade your mental space,
"Am I in mortal sin?,
Am I going to Hell?" etc.
This is a spiritual battle with demonic forces (through oppressive thought influence) that would like to keep you on the treadmill of this doubt with the intended result of you believing you can't win, you aren't good enough and Christ can't save you. There are a lot of lies in there. A healthy conscience:
does a fearless moral inventory
resolves to do better
avoids the near occasion of sin, and
receives the necessary sacraments and moves on.
Don't rehash the same stuff, it's a losing proposition.
Peace,
Bob Kirby
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