Dear AAC,

I'm a young woman who grew up not knowing much of anything about Catholicism (what little I was told was false or derogatory), but I've been feeling called to God in recent years, especially since I moved to the United States and have been exposed to more earnest Christians. I've been trying to learn more through online resources and prayer. At this point, I wish to become Catholic.

What worries me is that I've been engaged to a man who is not Catholic. We've had a long history together, and I view him basically as my husband, whom I've committed to for life (we plan on officially marrying once some financial and legal stuff is sorted out). He is a great man who lives by many good values even without spirituality, and we've always had much in common.

And it used to be that we were both atheists together, but now it seems like we're not entirely on the same page, which troubles me. While he's loosened his aversion to religion and accepted a vague theism (he believes in a creator but not necessarily in any particular texts, authorities, or traditions). He doesn't seem ready or willing to commit to a faith at this point and still seems to hold onto some skepticism and disdain.

It does seem like it bothers him that I've been making more mention of Christianity, especially since it appears sudden and out of character. Recently, I casually mentioned considering starting to go to church (on my own), and he was appalled that I even thought of it, then even more dismayed that I couldn't recognize and renounce it as a foolish idea. Part of why he found it offensive was that there are currently so many responsibilities and problems eating up our time and energy, and he thinks it's absurd that I'd want to throw out even more of my already limited time to pursue something he already thinks is nonsense willingly.

Of course, while it's disappointing that he reacted that way, I want to emphasize that we're otherwise very harmonious and similar-minded; please don't get the idea that he's one of those people who's just disagreeable about everything!

I've been struggling a lot with my desire to seek a deeper relationship with Christ and my desire to maintain my relationship with the man I love. On one hand, I'm scared of growing apart from my fiancé, who has supported me so much over the years and whom I've built so much with. Thus, I've hoped that maybe if I resume business as usual and don't push things too hard, maybe he'll be more receptive in the future once he personally feels ready. I pray that God will continue calling to him too but I'm also ashamed about how little I'm involved in my faith and worry that God is angry at my hesitancy and inaction.

I think of people who chose the Lord even under threat of death, and I feel like a failure for feeling unwilling to strain my (soon-to-be) marriage in comparison. While I'm sad at being apart from God because of a genuine desire to be close to His Light, I do also feel scared that I will die unexpectedly before I become Catholic and be condemned for not having acted sooner.

So, I have a couple of questions on this situation:

1. Is God upset with me because I feel hesitant to answer his call?
   
   I've heard that Christ will always wait for us to accept His calls if we don't feel ready to seek Him fully, but I've also heard that knowing the truth and not doing everything possible to pursue it is a mortal sin.
   
   
2. Do you have any advice for how aspiring Catholics can discuss their new desire with a spouse or partner who isn't fond of religion in a way that's sensitive to both parties?
   
   I think a concern that would be relevant to him is that some Catholic teachings would cause lifestyle changes that would affect him (attending Mass, no non-reproductive sex, going through the sacramental version of marriage, etc.) even if he doesn't have to share my faith.
   
   
3. How can I stop worrying?
   
   I'm scared about a lot of stuff, like that my fiancé will never change his view, or that I'll go to Hell if I died suddenly, all sorts of things.
   

Thank you for your help,